An Impossible Gift, An Impossible Cure

     "And when that happens, I know it. A message saying so merely confirms a piece of news some secret vein had already received, severing from me an irreplaceable part of myself, letting it loose like a kite on a broken string. That is why, walking across a school campus on this particular December morning, I keep searching the sky. As if I expected to see, rather like hearts, a lost pair of kites hurrying toward heaven." 

-Truman Capote, A Christmas Memory

    Christmas is always a sweet, celebratory season. As a child, I so much looked forward to us cutting down a fresh tree from the back 40 acres. Decorating with my sister, watching her ice skate and seeing our grandmas in the season. 

   As I ask myself, "What is an impossible gift for me?" my mind immediately flips to "a cure." Which thus makes me feel selfish, as I do want a cure for my own Multiple Sclerosis. I realize it will not come in my lifetime, but I focus on those who will come after me - so they don't have to endure this disease as those of us who have. 

    Incurable disease leaves me to those who I have lost to diseases with no cure. Breast cancer, testicular cancer, lung cancer. Heart issues. Depression. It is, perhaps, the time of year I miss them all most of all. 

    These gifts may be impossible, but no less dear to my heart. I will move forward everyday I am blessed enough to see. Every day, writing and reading and still learning. Never forgetting, never losing. 

-AM Peaslee