August Post: The Scary Side of Writing (Christine Brodien-Jones)

Whenever I think about the dark, scary side of being a writer my mind flies off in twenty different directions. In the course of one day there are endless things for a writer to worry about and anguish over. Okay, maybe the image of an author wrestling with her/his demons is a well-worn clichƩ, but the truth is: the world of publishing is often harsh, the stakes are high, and as writers competing in this unpredictable and competitive world, we struggle.
For me the most terrifying demon is the double-edged Self-Doubt/Fear of Rejection demon, which never completely goes away. Rejection pops up in countless guises: agents/editors returning your manuscript (not once, but over and over), a review that rips your newly-published book to shreds, your editorās decision not to take your next book, news that your book is going out of print. These are just a few scenarios that can raise your anxiety levelā¦then the anguish of self-doubt creeps in.
How have I dealt with fears and insecurities? First, Iāve had a supportive familyāa husband and sons whoāve often acted as āfirst readersā and offered honest opinions. Iāve also been a member of an incredibly supportive childrenās writers group for nearly twenty years. And I highly recommend reading books by authors, including Stephen Kingās āOn Writing,ā Anne Lamottās āBird by Bird,ā Brenda Uelandās āIf You Want to Write,ā and Ray Bradbury's "Zen in the Art of Writing."

In his book āBooklife: Strategies and Survival Tips For the 21st Century Writer," Jeff Vandermeer talks about rejection, envy and despair. Yes, the writing life is hard, he says, and it is a constant struggle. And yet: "You're living the life you want to live, and any deprivation is as much a sign and symbol of your choice as is success."
This is the life I've chosen and the bottom line is this: I sit at my desk and I write. I keep putting words on the page, even if they're rubbish. I keep going, I write.
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