The Obstacle

 

It was one of these giants.

“Tomorrow,” our 4^th grade gym teacher said, “you’ll be running an obstacle course.” Coach Smith then took us through the different stations, suggesting we practice during that day’s class.

I was great running the shorter and longer distances. Zigzagging around the cones? No problem. Rope-jumping station? Piece of cake. Ultra-long hopscotch? Bring it on! Climb up and over the jungle gym? Wha--?

My blood ran ice cold. Sure, I could climb up a few metal bars. But all the way to the top? Moving to the other edge, turning my body around with nothing but air above? No. No way.

As I made myself look busy with the no-brainer obstacles, I watched so many other kids scramble up and over and down. How did they do that? How could they be so brave? But the biggest question: how could I get out of this? And, how could I get out of this without embarrassing myself?

I had no answer. And my fear must have shown just before dinner that day. “What’s the matter?” my dad asked. I blew it off as nothing because, in the scheme of things, it was nothing. But whatever he said next and however he said it had me admitting my fear.

My dad with my mom, who dislike heights 
more than I did.

I don’t remember eating dinner. I do remember getting into the car right after, heading to school, and facing my nemesis. My dad stood behind me as I climbed the first few bars. Then I froze. “Go on,” he said, a hand on my back. “I’m right behind you.” As I climbed, he climbed. As I reached the top, so did he. With a hand constantly gripping my calf, he edged past me to the other side, demonstrating how to reverse course. I still didn’t want to move. But now with his hand steadying my arm, I made it over and down.

“Let's do it again.” We did. Again. Again. Again, until I was comfortable enough to manage by myself. And the next day... SUCCESS!

That was when I first realized I could be brave, not because I climbed over that large twist of metal, but because I admitted my fear to someone who could help me conquer it. (Okay, and yeah, because I climbed.)

Jody Feldman (unlike her character in The Seventh Level) still doesn’t love heights, but she’s always retained the confidence, born on that day, to face them and to face other obstacles one step at a time. That includes this whole writing journey.