Three Debbies: A Lesson in Friendship

 

Painting by Kazimir Malevich

 Is it a coincidence that three of my BFFs in life were named Debbie? I think not. Friendships like those, with any other names, would have been as special.

The first Debbie approached me the second week of 7th grade. We'd been in a class together, and I was passing her locker when she stopped me. "Do you really like [girl's name redacted]?" 
"Not really," I said. After that, we became nearly inseparable. 

I'd arrived at college a few days early freshman year and was the only one in our dorm wing when the second Debbie moved in. There was something about her energy that gave us an immediate connection. Our deep friendship lasted well until adulthood.

I'd also gone through college with Debbie number three. She had her best friends and I had mine, so there was little reason to become close. But when we ended up in a smaller group several years after graduation, we totally, fully clicked. 

What happened to the three Debbies? The first got a boyfriend junior year of high school. She gravitated to his group of friends. We reconnected as adults until she, inexplicably, fell away. I don't suspect she'll ever resurface in my life. The second Debbie...it's complicated. And actually, I still hold out hope for that relationship. The third Debbie, of blessed memory, left us all far too soon.

But here's the lesson I've taken away from the three Debbies (and others not named Debbie). Friendship comes at you in different ways. Maybe you make the first move. Maybe they do. Maybe it's a mutual collision course. Look for it. Be ready. Because, when it happens, it's utterly beautiful.