Guest Post (+ Unpublished Poems) by Meg Eden Kuyatt, Author of Perfect Enough
When writing a book, it never (at least in my experience) comes out a perfect, complete object. Often, especially for verse, I find myself writing and rewriting poems and having to cut many altogether--even ones I love! My novel in verse PERFECT ENOUGH is my third novel in verse, and while it clicked together once I realized it was Selah's story I was trying to tell at summer camp, there are still some poems I had to cut that I love! So here I've included some poems I loved that didn't make it into this book. Maybe they'll find their way into another in the future? :)
About Perfect
Enough:
The
companion novel to the beloved and award-winning Good Different.
Selah is a dragon.
Or at least, she
feels like one. And she finally figured out how to spread her wings and soar.
Armed with her
sensory tools, her notebooks and poems, and her newfound knowledge about her
autism, Selah is heading to writing camp for the summer. She's excited to work
on her writing, perform at the final showcase, and to meet more kids like her.
Things aren't so
simple though. As soon as she arrives, she realizes that her bully from home is
there too. Ezra is chaotic, attention-seeking, and always teasing her.
Selah is
determined not to let him ruin her summer. But soon it turns out that it's not
just Ezra causing problems ... As kind and enthusiastic as Selah's new friends
are, they don't fully understand her autism and how overwhelming this new
environment is for her.
Friend drama,
classes, overstimulation, and her relationship with Ezra all start to feel like
a lot. But surely Selah can make
it through just a few weeks without reaching her breaking point again ... right?
A
wall with pictures
of
Brooklyn and Rhea and I
in
our cosplay
at a
local comicon
(I’m a manakete with dragon wings
Rhea is a beautiful Black Sailor Moon
and Brooklyn is No Face from Spirited Away)
A
letter from Mrs. V
from
the last day of school
telling
me to
KEEP
WRITING AND PERSISTING!
Blackout
curtains
that
keep my room
a
dark, cozy cave
My
nightstand
with
earplugs
and
melatonin gummies
and
an eye mask
so I
am ready to hibernate
A
corkboard with drawings
and
poems
I’ve
written
but
also ones
I’ve
found online and love,
and
my acceptance letter
to
Writer’s Camp!
My
backpack filled
with
new notebooks
and
four-colored pens from Pop,
ready
for possibilities,
and
my suitcase
packed
with clothes
and
tools for being
a
dragon
that
can still fly far
in a
human world.
Kiki’s Delivery Service
Once
we’re in our PJs,
Brooklyn
pulls up Kiki’s Delivery Service,
a
Ghibli anime movie
about
a witch-in-training
who
has to go to a new town
on
her own
to
start her journey
learning
magic.
Brooklyn
says
watching
movies
can
give us ideas
for
our own film.
Kiki
is kind and friendly,
making
deliveries
on
her broomstick
to
people in town.
But
she gets tired
and
sad
and
lays in bed a lot.
“Kiki’s
so emotional,”
Brooklyn
says. “Why
is
she crying so much?”
“What’s
wrong with crying?”
Rhea
asks.
“I
just mean
she
was happy
and
now she’s suddenly
sad.
How did she go
from
one to the next?”
Rhea
shrugs.
“Sometimes
feelings
don’t
make sense.
Also,
girl seriously
you
are the definition
of emotional,
and I
don’t think
that’s
a bad thing
so
why the hate for Kiki?”
My
eyes go big,
looking
back
and
forth
between
Rhea
and
Brooklyn
until
Brooklyn laughs
so
big and wonderfully
and
so hard
she
snorts
which
makes us all
laugh.
“I
wish everyone
was
like you, Rhea,”
Brooklyn
says
and I
nod.
I
want to know
what
happens to Kiki,
if
she ever feels better
or
gets her magic back
but I
fall asleep
on
the floor
before
it’s over.
My Own Magic
Kiki
gets tired
doing
too much
of
the thing she loves,
using
up her magic
without
enough rest.
Sometimes
even good things
can
drain
and
make me feel like
I’ve
lost my spark.
Kiki
can’t do magic
the
way I can’t write poems
today.
“I
think
I
kind of get
Kiki,”
I whisper
like
a secret,
but
Rhea hears
and
smiles.
“Well,
you have
magic
too.
So it makes sense.”
I
smile.
So do
you.
Rhea
always knows
the
right thing to say.
On
YouTube, Brooklyn showed us
a video of a gymnast
who hurt herself during her routine
but kept going
and finished.
Her coach lifted her up
on his shoulders
and everyone cheered.
I cheered on the outside
but inside I squirmed
but didn’t have words for why.
Now, as I journal,
I wonder:
Is that good thing?
Is it brave?
Is she OK?
Was it worth it,
hurting herself
for a medal?
I’m
the kind of autistic
who feels trapped at things,
the kind of autistic that people need to
say
you’re allowed to eat and breathe and go
to the bathroom
and leave if you want.
I realize this now.
Even without my “rules”
I still have rules.
I find them everywhere
make them up
even if they aren’t real or there.
Even if I know those rules aren’t real
I need someone to remind me.
Even if I know they aren’t real,
I still keep acting like they’re real.
Why is it so hard to be a human
with other humans?
Why is it so hard
to tell myself
what is true?
~
MEG EDEN KUYATT is the neurodivergent author of the Schneider Family Book Award Honor-winning Good Different, and a creative writing instructor. When she isn’t writing, she’s probably playing Fire Emblem. If she could be a Pokémon, she’d be Charizard. Find her online at megedenbooks.com or on Instagram at @meden_author.
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