Don't Ask Me (Holly Schindler)
In a way, I
feel like I’m the absolute worst person to give public speaking advice. In the
first place, I was the shyest kid on the planet growing up. I used to cry at
the thought of talking to other kids when my parents took me to the playground.
I have
always been more introverted, and I will never, never, never relish public
speaking. I will, for the most part, always dread it.
And it’s not
just the shyness. I think most writers are actually revisionists by nature. I
happen to love the revision process far more than the drafting—but even if you do
love the drafting more, there’s just something wonderful (or at least
comforting) about the non-permanence of a draft. Of knowing that you have a
chance to get in there and tinker with it.
I think that’s
what makes so many authors cringe at the idea of a public performance. There’s
no delete key for it. You can’t tinker with it.
In many
ways, it really does feel like hanging a rough draft out for public
consumption.
And it does
not in any way have to be a performance in front of a large library group,
either. Some of the most frightening “performances” can be the one-on-one sort.
In the beginning of my writing career, I would quake in fear at the idea of a
call from an agent or editor. The night before a scheduled call, I wouldn’t be
able to sleep.
But
something started to happen, over time:
I found myself
picking up the phone to call my agent cold, when I needed something. I
suggested conference calls with editors to hash out ideas for a book in
development. I started Skyping with reader groups. Tons of them—all over the
country. Doing in-person and radio interviews…
It’s not
Madison Square Garden by any stretch of the imagination. But it’s funny how
those things I mentioned in the previous paragraph don’t even bother me
anymore. Does the fear subside with exposure? Is it that you’re more likely to
forget your fears when you’re going after something you really want? Do
we become more confident with ourselves the longer we’re in the industry?
Maybe it’s
all those things.
I do not in any way have the key to success with public
speaking. I only suspect that it, like the path to publication, depends on the
much of the same: persistence, persistence, persistence. And never letting a
little bit of fear keep you from a great big dream.
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