December Theme: The Gift of Song (Sorry, No Returns) by Trudi Trueit

When I was young, my best friend and I spent countless hours trying to make each other giggle with horrendous poetry and goofy rhymes. We were known in class for our elaborate rebus puzzles that could take up whole pages (a rebus is when you link symbols or pictures to create phrases; remember the game show Concentration?).

Another favorite pastime was coming up with silly lyrics to familiar songs. So in the spirit of the season, I’m taking a break from untangling an enormous ball of Christmas lights (that aren’t going to work when I plug them in anyway) to pen my version of The Twelve Days of Christmas (for writers, of course). So gather 'round the fossilized fruitcake and sing along. You know the melody …

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

a movie deal with Martin Scorsese.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

two creepy fans,

and a movie deal with Martin Scorsese.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

three plot threads,

two creepy fans,

and a movie deal with Martin Scorsese.

Shall we skip to the last verse? After all, I've got figgy pudding burning in the oven …  

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
12 agents-a-bidding,

11 critics-a-sniping,

10 editors-a-editing,

9 shallow characters,
8 rejection letters,

7 'likes' on Facebook,

6 works in progress,

5 chapters to be cut!
4 urgent deadlines,

3 plot threads,

2 creepy fans,

And a movie deal with Martin Scorsese!


Next year?

I'm thinking Hark! The Herald Angels E-Read ... 
Happy Holidays to you and yours!



"Secrets of a Lab Rat" Art by Jim Paillot, copyright 2011