Friday, September 23, 2011

September Theme: PUBKIDELOT—The State of Children’s Publishing by Dia Calhoun

The popular new guidebook, EXTREME TRAVEL, describes Pubkidelot—the State of Children’s Publishing—as follows:
Political System: Fiefdom
Population Demographics:
                Serfs: Authors
                Working Poor: Editors
                Rich: Amazon, Corporate Media
Economic Situation: Most of the population is poor, with a few living in kingly splendor.
History: Pubkidelot was once a glorious country founded to nurture literature and writers, and create enduring works of art. Although occasional glimpses of this legacy can be seen today, at present the country is largely devoted to making money out of garbage.
Geographical Location: Pubkidelot is located between the countries of Greed to the west and Marketing Manipulation to the east.
Climate: Barren desert sprinkled with difficult to locate lush oases.
Major Imports: The blood, sweat, and tears of writers.
Major Exports: Stories
Religion: Worships the great god Bestseller.
Popular Historical Sites: Vampire Monument, Zombie Valley, Disaster Vista, and Titillation Butte.
Culture: The Bottom Line
Heroes: JK Rawling and Stephanie Meyer.
Hazards: The terrain of Pubkidelot is extremely unstable. Be prepared for sudden earthquakes, hurricanes, whirlpools, and volcanic eruptions.
Travel Warnings: Do not enter Pubkidelot unless you have received ALL of the following vaccines:
1.       Vaccine for rejection
2.       Vaccine for endless waiting
3.       Vaccine for criticism
4.       Vaccine for nausea
5.       Vaccine for despair
6.       Vaccine for poverty
Major Reason to Visit: You may stumble upon occasional beautiful vistas.
Getting There: In spite of Pubkidelot’s harsh conditions, many people wish to enter. Visas are extremely difficult to obtain. There is no major route into the country. Most stumble in blindly after years of desperate wandering.
Travel Insurance: Not available. No emergency rescue service.
Overall Recommendation: Enter Pubkidelot at your own risk.








5 comments:

  1. "Making money out of garbage", eh? Would that be dross into gold? Cause the only children's writers I know are experts in alchemy, and I'm delighted for them when they make a little money!

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  2. Dia, I laughed so hard when I read this...I especially love that, despite all these dangers, you choose to live in Pubkidelot...

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  3. I laughed as well. Thanks for the humor in the midst of the journey!

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  4. This is funny! Thanks for brightening my day.

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